walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
