Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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