Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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