I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
