Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
