I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
