I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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