i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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