Where are you?
In a non slutty way
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
