He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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