i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
