Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
