in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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