a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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