my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
