i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
