y did u give ur computer a hand job?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
