id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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