I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
