My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
