dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
