someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
