I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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