babies were throwing up all over the place
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
