So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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