on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
