can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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