stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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