Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
It's just like the Real World with babies
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
