What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize