ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
