my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
