I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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