I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
