I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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