What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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