but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
