He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
