I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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