I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
