Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize