so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
