Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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