McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
