You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
