you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I FOUND THE LEGS
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
