I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Randomize
