Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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