I wannas sexs uuuuu
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
