spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Panties = found
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
