you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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