Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
