Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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