How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
