Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
