i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
