She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
